Perspective
It is refreshing to see my world through the eyes of others. I know I have a privileged life here in the US. I am educated, the right skin color, have enough money to live in a “good” neighborhood, and have the freedom to go where I wish. Or another way to say it is WEIRD — white, educated, industrialized, rich and democratic. I was reminded of those privileges when a colleague from Palestine and her husband came to visit this month when she completed the in-person segment of her Harvard certificate: SQIL – safety, quality, informatics and leadership.
Before going to Harvard, Beesan and Abed spent a long weekend with Reed and me. I put them up at a neighbor’s beach cottage. The neighbor spends the winter in Florida and the house gave them privacy and some time together – a break from their parenting responsibilities. In addition, Beesan wears the hijab and there are strict rules about who can see women without their headcovered that would be difficult to manage in our small house. Via WhatsApp I sent her a list of options for their time so I could make arrangements. At the top of the list were kayaking, biking, sailing, and of course shopping. You may say these are great options in New England and in Rhode Island with its 400 miles of beach and one of the biggest yachting centers in the world. But let me put this in perspective.
Hebron or Khalil is one of the oldest cities in the Middle East, reportedly the location where Abraham settled and is buried. It is holy to all the monotheistic religions. Located in the Occupied Territories of the West Bank, it is 40 miles as the crow flies from the Mediterranean Sea. However, Beesan’s family is not allowed to visit the Mediterranean. West Bank Palestinians need special permission from Israeli authorities which is rarely granted.
In addition, you can see Gaza from the patio of Beesan’s parents’ home. West Bank Palestinians are not permitted to travel to Gaza either. While Beesan and Abed were here, they were receiving videos from family of the bombs exploding over Gaza during the recent May fire-fight. I had dinner on that patio when I was in Palestine in September. The house is large with multiple floors, each for a different family group, typical of many well-to-do Palestinian homes. More than 20 gathered around the dinner table. The patio is surrounded by pomegranate, citrus, avocado and other fruit trees. It is peaceful and the sunset was breathtaking. They laughed about the fireworks they had watched a few months earlier – bombs over Gaza.
Beesan had never ridden a bike before; Abed had 30 years ago as a kid. The roads in Hebron have many potholes and sidewalks are filled with parked cars and lots of debris. Bike riding isn’t easy. We took our bikes to a nearby park that has well paved walking paths. (Roads in RI have their own hazards too.) It took Beesan several tries to master the letting go and trusting the balance that happens with continued pedaling. Abed and I rode off to let her work it out for herself. She is a stubborn woman and was eventually successful. I’ve seen that persistence serve her well as she mastered English and her writing improved over the 4 years we have worked on manuscripts together.
Sailing, Newport RI
Our sailing afternoon was perfect – windy and sunny and their favorite part was feeling the big waves as we approached the Atlantic Ocean. Ah, that sense of power and freedom.
I hugged them both, US rules, not Palestinian where women don’t touch men that aren’t their family, and thought what courage it takes to return to their restrictive lives, so much out of their control. Lots is problematic in the US and the world right now. Beesan and Abed’s visit was a reminder to count my blessings.